Feeling nostalgic for the days when when smartphones weren't so "smart?" Then this is the phone for you! Will it give you social media updates as fast as they come in? Nope! Can you check out local restaurants and compare menus and prices? Absolutely not! Can you take a quick video and export it to three separate stories, while also texting it to your mom? No. But think of the advantages! It will never bother you with a spam call! You'll never need to charge its battery! And its cuddly fur chassis is way more snuggly than tempered glass. That means it's there for a hug whether you're writing an angsty tweet or liking mildly-flattering photos of friends. Or you know, doing all that stuff you can do on a non-plush smartphone.
15 squishy inches of technological embrace. All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!