Red is the color of my true love's Panda….except it's not! Your true love might be right about lots of things (seriously, you shouldn't leave wet towels on the bed!) but they're dead wrong about their Phylogenetic classification! The Red Panda is more of a bear-raccoon-weasel-skunk hybrid than its monochrome namesake! That adorable red coat, its fluffy stripy tail, its insatiable desire for cupcakes, none of these are traits that scream "panda."
So pay attention to your true love when they're explaining why you should cut down on carbs, or quit your dead-end job, or be nicer to your in-laws (man, your true love is pushy!). But the next time they tell you a Red Panda is a type of Panda, tell them, honey, you're wrong! 7 squishy inches of it's-not-really-Panda. All new polyester fiber, ages 3 and up only!